February 10

Kelly Stamps: Four Reasons To Stop Telling Others Your Business

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Below is the transcript of the video:

Hello everybody, this is Kelly Stamps, or maybe it's not Kelly Stamps. What if this entire time I have been lying to you? What if my name is actually Petunia Envelope? See, you really don't know anything about me. It's not because I am intentionally being secretive. It's just that privacy is imperative to my well-being.

Today's video is a suggestion to become a more private person. Notice grasshopper I said suggestion. I don't think it's mandatory or extremely important to be a private person. However, nothing bad comes from not telling people your business.

Keep Your Mouth Shut If You Want To Get Dreams Done With No Judgment

When you tell people all of your business, it creates space for negativity and gives the appearance that you have no boundaries. I learned this rule way too late. I used to tell people all of my business. Thank goodness it was before I had a large following on YouTube because I was messy on social media.

I was sharing family disputes, I was sharing my bank account. I would say, "guys I have $200 left in my bank account, what should I go spend it on? Carl's jr?" Yes, the answer is always yes. You should get chicken stars, I don't care how destitute you are.

I would share every little detail about my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. It's so weird to think that I was once in a relationship. I feel like I'm like a beta fish. I'm just kind of meant to be alone, but I really like having crushes on people.

Anyway, I shared so much info about me that, honestly, other people did not need to know. Did it enrich their day? No. Did it add joy to their life? No. Did anyone actually care? No. Those are the three things I ask myself before I speak or before I put out a video. Don't give people more info than they need to know.

Keep Things On A Need To Know Basis

I made it my goal for 2021 and, moving forward, operate on a need to know basis. In regards to my comment on boundaries, when you tell people too much, it kind of raises red flags. I feel like, as an individual, when people tell me oh so and so did this, and my friend did this, and oh my goodness, this happened.

And when I watch influencers, YouTubers, Instagrammers saying things like, "Guys, thank god I got my period today." When I see people like this sharing every little detail of their life, it screams to me that they need validation. Maybe they need an audience because they're not that interesting of a person. It makes me think that they're probably sharing my info that I shared with them, and chances are your gut instinct is right.

Fight The Urge To Be Liked By Everyone & Seeking Approval

Like you saw with my introductory skit, it's okay to not tell people your business. You don't have to be mean or rude. And I think sometimes people misconstrue privacy and the need to just be a little more discreet for anti-social behavior or being rude. It's not rude to just keep your personal life personal.

When you tell everybody every detail about your personal life, including maybe your goals or plans like I said in a previous video, why I love being alone, it creates space for negativity and judgment. But there are things that I keep to myself, such as goals. I have one plan that I'm working on. I'm so excited about it, and I don't want anyone else to crush that dream for me.

Most people don't. No one has ever said anything bad about it, but one person did a long time ago. This person said, "Ooh, I don't know about that. Because you know that career doesn't pay that well. Why would you do that instead of YouTube?"

Don't worry about it because that person doesn't understand your passions or what makes you excited in the morning. Instead, tell everybody if you need to. If you want to share things, tell it when it's done. Tell the people about your plans when you have your degree in your hand. Tell them about your big house you bought once you're inside, sipping wine, watching desperate housewives. Don't set yourself up to get your feelings hurt.

I just want to say it's so nice to see myself again talking. It was so hard before. I was old school YouTubing with that big camera I had. I was like, "I hope I'm in the shot." Now I am here. I feel more present.

Just a side note, people, if you're doing youtube and it's your hobby, or for your living, you don't need large, expensive equipment for that because this is a camera. This is like the lowest cost vlogging camera there is. An all-in-one deal called the Sony's ZV-1. This is not sponsored.

You Don't Owe Anyone Explanations

Okay, you are entitled to your privacy. You have zero obligations to anyone else. Stampede rise, say it with me, I am entitled to my privacy. Thank you. Please take a seat. You don't have to tell anyone anything. I might end up sharing the states, yes states, I have two apartments.

I might end up sharing the places that I live, but I'm just not going to share the city because even as a social media person, I believe I am not obligated to share anything that I'm uncomfortable with. And, obviously, I have a reason for not sharing it.

I can decide, "Okay, what are my healthy boundaries? What do I feel comfortable with sharing with my viewers? What do I not feel comfortable with? So, I'm figuring that out now. But, I can tell you just by me moving from Boston to this new place and furnishing the other place, I feel so in control of my life again. And I didn't know where my anxiety was coming from.

I don't care if you have three subscribers, three thousand, or three million, we share too much information naturally, and it can hurt us in many different ways. A large danger of oversharing with people is the possibility of getting robbed.

Stop Announcing Your Whereabouts, People Are Desperate Right Now

Time to get the spectacles out because I'm gonna scare you. In 2017 a stalker murdered his ex from her social media updates. Criminals use social media as a tool to rob your ideas. How do they do this? Easily, because we are prone to updating our stories. I used to post in and out. I would say I'm at the ice rink, but that's not the danger.

Forget stalking for a second. The bigger danger is people robbing your house. Because when you announce on Facebook to all your little country family. You know who they are. The cousins who you wouldn't want to invite to your home because your PS5 is there, your shiny new painting, and your shoes. And you're just like, "I gotta keep an eye on you."

You can probably trust the people on your Facebook friends list, but what you can't trust are their friends. Because everything is public these days. Maybe someone is mad at your success. Raise your hand if stampede people, if your growth, success, and determination has made other people feel inferior. Yes, I see you in the back. You look real cute today. By the way, yes, nice skirt.

Everyone Doesn't Want To See You Winning

Not everyone wants to see you win. All of your friends and family, we hope that they want to see us win. But I've accepted that some people just don't want to see you win. They want to take away from you.

If you say, "Oh, heath and I are off to Cancun this weekend. We're so excited!" And you post that you're geotagged at lax, and you're leaving. Oh, you post, "Oh yes, we're at Honolulu airport now." Whatever, you're telling everyone all the details, and especially if they're family or friends, they know where you live. They know how to break into your place, and there are just so many stories besides the one that I have written down here of people getting robbed because they were sharing on social media.

So my tip to you all to avoid theft is to post things hours later. How long that's up to you, I post things on my story long after I've left the vicinity. There is a wonderful quote that I saw online, when I was on the internet, I'm clearly just trying to show my boots that I really like.

You Don't Have To Post Everything

The quote says, "Just because you didn't post a picture of it doesn't mean it didn't happen." When you build a more private life, you resist the urge to share every little thing you do on social media. As a result, I feel like my relationships with other people have strengthened as well as mine with myself. I have so many amazing, cool experiences that happened that are just up here.

For example, like a year ago, I was visiting Sun Valley, Idaho, I didn't have my phone on me. Which was actually an accident because I left it inside of a hotel at the lodge. Hey Sun Valley Lodge, can you guys sponsor me? So a giant moose just came up to me. I was on a golf cart just minding my business. It was bizarre. I've never seen any animal that large in my life, and I didn't post it anywhere, and I don't have a picture of it. I wish I could share it, but then again, it's all up here.

All that matters is the excitement that I want to have throughout the whole year, the moose excitement. And that's how I feel currently because another large animal came up to me recently, and I ran like hell. Of course, because I am like Usain Bolt. By the way, random fact, I can run short distances very quickly.

Before I ran, I admired its beauty, and then I skipped town. I was so excited about it I shared it with all of my friends via voice memos. Like I actually called them or left a voice memo saying, "You will not believe this, I swear saw a dinosaur came up to me just now. I don't know what it was, but I ran, and it was really exciting. I just wanted to share this with you because it meant a lot to me. I hope you're doing well."

Those are friendships, not habits. Well, class, I must go now. The sun is leaving, the sun is leaving. I must go edit. I hope you enjoyed this video. Just remember, a private life is a happy life.

Follow Kelly Stamps on IG @TheKellyStamps


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